Chapter 5: Stepping Out of the Boat

As I write, it's now been five weeks since we enthusiastically jumped off the much under-rated cliff of employment, to a mixture of excited cheers and anxious whispers from the crowd of onlookers. Though this is fast becoming a Pollard-trademark, we've not had much of a chance to explain why on earth we did such a foolish/brave (delete as appropriate) thing, nor how the whole experience of hurtling to the ground has been for us thus far. In this latest blog, I wanted to share the story of what led us to leave Greyfriars, and the journey that took us to where we are now.

So, let me rewind to the end of my previous blog, Chapter 4: The Hidden Path, which concluded with us being crowned worship pastors at Greyfriars Church (to be clear, there were no crowns involved). I'll be honest, though we were sure this was God's plan for us, we didn't begin to understand how it fitted with everything that had come before. We couldn't see at all how our big visions of doing music and ministry would thrive when so much of our time was now being given to structured church-work. Nevertheless, God is very good at playing the long-game, and it's fair to say He knew what He was doing even though we didn't.

Having spent the first two years of marriage with no house (owned or rented) and no jobs, and being led by a very unpredictable sat-nav, it was at least nice to feel like the next several years of our lives were taken care of. There were still many mini-faith journeys in this time - leading a mission trip to Israel, touring with our album Songs of the Watchmen, running an online course in the Book of Revelation and raising £10k to record and release our second album Army Rising - but life definitely felt more straightforward, and we weren't complaining. Two children came along, Judah and then Keziah in fairly quick succession, and we definitely seemed to be doing what most people would describe as 'settling down'. Not for long, however.

Things began to shift quite suddenly at the end of April 2024, just a few days after our live recording of Army Rising. We were at our Greyfriars annual staff retreat, in a beautiful farm house in the Cotswolds, and I was looking fondly around the room thinking about how much I would enjoy being back next year. Suddenly, the Holy Spirit said to me very clearly, "You're not going to be here next year" and, as if to ram the point home further, a second later our then-vicar David announced he was leaving Greyfriars. I felt like someone had slapped me in the face twice in very quick succession, and though I didn't know what it all meant, I certainly felt the weightiness of it in my Spirit. From that day on we began to earnestly seek God about His future plans for us, sensing that we might be nearing the end of our time at Greyfriars.

As we prayed over the coming year, this sense of weightiness only grew for both of us. By the end of 2024 we were utterly certain that we wouldn't be at Greyfriars the following year, and as 2025 arrived, God impressed upon me again the deep significance of this year for us. I felt Him speak to me plainly of how this year was going to be the most transitional year of our lives yet, how it would be a year of faith beyond anything we had ever known before, and how it would be pivotal for setting the trajectory for the rest of our lives. Not at all daunting.

Discerning whether or not we should be leaving Greyfriars was actually the easy part of this whole journey; the hard part, we came to realise, was working out what on earth we were going to do once we'd left. Many years ago God told us that Greyfriars was a stepping stone for us in terms of our music ministry, and that when we left we would be moving into something wider. This is exactly what God was now saying to us again - music, worship, ministry and expansion - but in practical terms we still had very little idea what this work would look like, let alone how we'd be paid for it. It was a slightly surreal feeling, sensing that the pathway we had been waiting for for many years was extremely close, yet somehow still impossibly unattainable.

Well, May arrived, and it was decision time. We felt like Peter, being beckoned to step out of the boat and into the waves, with no assurance of safety besides the voice of our Saviour. We knew that God was calling us to leave Greyfriars immediately after the summer, and sensed strongly that the timing was crucial - and even from a purely human point of view we felt ready to move on. But with still no clear plan, it was an enormous decision to make, especially with two small children to look after. However, the more we wrestled, the more convicted we became that this was indeed God's will, and that to stay at Greyfriars would in fact be disobedience. So, on the 13th May we handed in our notice at Greyfriars and stepped out of the boat.

The coming months were crazy, getting ready to hand over the job at Greyfriars whilst beginning to prepare (as best we knew how) for this new, wider ministry. Every day felt far too long, and every week felt far too short, but nonetheless we felt God's generous, guiding hand on everything we did. Abstract thoughts started turning into concrete projects, vague ideas into solid strategies, doors began opening at just the right time, and even work starting coming in without us even looking for it! By the end of the summer we had formed a very cohesive vision for this future ministry that not only felt exciting but eminently doable, even by human standards. As is often the case, all it took was stepping out of the boat to be able to see the hidden pathway through the waves God had already prepared for us. We finished our jobs at Greyfriars Church on Sunday 14th September, and on Tuesday 16th September began our new, wider worship ministry.

Six weeks on from jumping off the cliff, you'll be pleased to know that we're still alive, and we're already amazed at what God has done. We're more certain than ever that we are exactly where we're meant to be, doing exactly what we're meant to be doing. We have a growing feeling that there is a lot more to this new ministry than we can see right now - a sense that much more lies in wait for us round the corner that we just can't see yet - but for now we're excited to run down the path that lies ahead of us. It's been a genuine joy sharing our vision with people, and with every day that passes our expectation of what God is going to do in the months and years ahead increases. There is still much more that we're trusting God to do, but God is good and we remain confident that He will do it - and we say that with more assurance now than ever before.